A Day in the Life of Sylvester
by sunne
Summary: The Giant Chessboard thought it was an ordinary Tuesday. It turned out to be nothing of the sort. Written for Semi-Finals of the QLFC


**Author's Note:** I am the Seeker for the Falmouth Falcons. This is written for the Semi-Finals of the QLFC. My prompt is: Write from the point of view of the giant chessboard.

A Day in the Life of Sylvester

It was an ordinary Tuesday for the giant chessboard; at least, he thought it began as an ordinary Tuesday. In retrospect, he was glad that this Tuesday was not ordinary.

"I dare say, this is the most boring Tuesday in the history of my creation," he said, not wanting to imagine another moment stuck on the blasted floor of the Room of Requirement.

"Shut your giant wooden gob, you bloody flat face." The White Knight, buried beneath a stack of books, twisted around, the large volumes sliding off the side of his body. "Must you always complain?"

"Complain? Complaining is for simpletons. I do not complain." The giant chessboard couldn't believe the audacity of the White Knight.

The White Knight gave the chessboard a dirty look. "Then what do you call what you're currently doing?"

"Voicing reason," he said, his voice prim and clipped.

"That's a load of hogwash. Every other word that comes out of your mouth is—"

"Will you two shut it?"

"I can't stand another moment."

"My poor ears."

"They have no respect for us."

"Going on and on."

"And on and on."

A handful of Pawns hopped out from behind a large cupboard, their voices overlapping each other as they sent scornful glares at the chessboard and the knight. They bumped into a table of goblets which crashed to the ground.

The chessboard winced. "Must you all carry on as such?"

"Yes, we must."

"If we are to be heard."

"And respected."

The chessboard snorted. "Respected? You lot have no idea. To be respected is to earn the right for respect."

The White Knight rolled his eyes. "Are we really going to go through this again?"

The closest Pawn jumped onto the chessboard and looked down at the board. "Just because we are a bunch of Pawns does not mean—"

"Quiet! All of you." The Black Queen emerged from behind the White Knight, head held high and concern creasing her brow. "Listen." She tilted her head.

The Pawns froze, the chessboard grumbling under his breath. The door to the Room of Requirement slammed shut, a pair of voices rising off in the distance.

The Pawn standing on the board gave a hop, trying to see over the mounds of junk. "Do you think?"

"It can't be."

"They were just—"

"—never thought—"

"Let's not get—"

"—worked up."

The Black Queen hissed a warning at the pile of Pawns, ushering them back behind the cupboard. She moved around the chessboard, craning her neck. Two boys wound their way through the paths forged between the mounds of discarded items, each identical to the other. One came to a stop before the chessboard while the other hopped up onto it. The chessboard suppressed a nasty comment.

"Are you sure about this, Fred?"

"Absolutely, George."

"Right then." The red haired boy drew his wand and pointed it at the board. He opened his mouth, his invented spell on the tip of his tongue and ready for use. Then, the square he was standing on bucked up, throwing him off the board. With a surprised curse, he landed on the ground, eyes wide.

"Gerrof me, you lousy scoundrel." In a display of anger, the remaining squares on the chessboard bucked up.

The twin still standing took a step back, wand in hand but amazement spreading across his face. "Fred did it just—"

"I think it did, George."

Fred stepped forward, a mad grin on his face. "The chessboard can talk."

Getting to his feet, George gave his brother a look. "This is perfect."

"Couldn't have planned it better."

George paused for a moment, considering something. "But do you think it would work?"

His brother shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

oOo

Professor McGonagall was not amused, not in the slightest. Mouth pursed, she shoved the door to her classroom open, glad she did not have a class at that moment. Stepping into her classroom, she skirted around the giant chessboard. The desks had been shoved against one wall to make room for the chessboard. She couldn't fathom why anyone would want to place the chessboard in her classroom. Of course, she knew who was responsible. The Weasley Twins were _always_ up to something. But why would they want to put a giant chessboard in her classroom? The reason escaped her. She imagined, in the end, she would be writing a lengthy letter to Molly.

Stepping over the corner, she gave the board an experimental nudge with one foot. When nothing happened, she sighed with relief. Waving her wand, she tested it for curses and hexes, her scans coming up clear. McGonagall frowned, tapping her foot. Sighing, she shook her head and went to shrink it, but when that didn't work, she frowned. After a failed attempt at levitating it, she cursed under her breath.

"My sentiments, exactly."

McGonagall jumped.

"I fear I've been permanently stuck by those two mirrored hooligans."

Eyes widening, she leaned down. "Did you just speak?"

"Of course I just spoke! What do you take me for, woman? A mute? I most certainly can talk and will tell you exactly who is responsible for this dastardly prank."

McGonagall straightened up, eyebrows raised. "Oh, I know exactly who is responsible."

The board paused and regarded the woman for a moment. He sensed her intelligence and air of no-nonsense. "Of course you do, dear lady," he said, his usual clipped tones softening around the edges. "And I have no doubt you will succeed in freeing me and returning me to my rightful location."

oOo

It took Professor McGonagall the rest of the day and the help of Filius and Severus before she managed to unstick the chessboard from her classroom floor.

"I am forever in your debt, my lady," the board said once freed.

Filius gave McGonagall an entertained look while Severus glowered at the board.

"Please, I request that you call me Sylvester. It is my chosen name."

Flicking her wand, McGonagall levitated the board and guided it out of her classroom, followed by an amused Filius. Severus, as soon as the board was through the doorway, excused himself, muttering about bloody Gryffindors.

"If you call me Sylvester, then I must ask if I can call you Minerva," the board continued on. "Or how about Minnie?"

Snorting, Filius tried to hide his grin as McGonagall shot him an unamused look.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have the poise of a queen? I have met two queens in my life. The White and the Black Queen. Neither are as lovely as you, however, my dear lady."

Setting her jaw, McGonagall ignored the board and her colleague having what sounded like a conniption fit. She would curse Albus to the moon and back, however, for deciding having a sentient chessboard was a good idea.

oOo

It turned out to be a most exciting Tuesday, the giant chessboard decided upon being returned to the Room of Requirement—most exciting, indeed.


End file.
